What they are
Against my own better judgement I've been tethered to a few mom blogs by moms who have lost one of their little lights, snuffed out too soon, 2 by cancer and 1 by sudden unexplained childhood death (how does this even exist?!?!?!). I read about how they will never see what their children would have become, lost hopes and dreams and how they cope with the permanent, unchanging knowledge that life isn't fair, we don't always get what we deserve and sometimes life just fucking sucks. So today, while I was keeping my wee ones busy while Adam helped my mom and sister move I looked into the backseat as we drove by the lake and in the rear view I could see my 2 favourites singing our favourite songs word for word and was drawn to take a measure of what they are now. As parents I think we put a lot (maybe too much?) weight on what our kids WILL be. What the SHOULD, COULD become. So here is a present day account of what my kidlets are and if they never become anything more I'm sure they are more than enough and I can't imagine my life without them:
Henry/Hank/Hank the Tank/Hanky Panky/Little Man
Henry greets me each morning with a "what day is today?"always wanting to know what is ahead. He is snuggly and thoughtful and kind. He is my son. He is GB and Poppa's and Gramma's grandson. He is a nephew to a bunch of folks I really appreciate. He is a brother - learning to be kind and caring and equal. He is a Jedi warrior/Captain America/Hulk/Iron Man comic book hero. He is a lover and a fighter. He is cool and calm and intense and strong. He is a swingset/Netflix/Youtube addict. He LOVES rice milk almost as much as his mother. He is accosting me for the herb mister as we speak promising me he won't shoot it at me (lie). He is squishy and lovely and he is my whole heart and I am his. We are in love as he tells me daily.
Quinn/Quinny/Quinnbindersingh/Quinnella/Quinno/Honey Bear
Quinn can make a sandwich. She made me breakfast for my birthday. She makes me smile and yell daily. Quinn is endlessly kind. She is my daughter. She is GB and Poppa's and Gramma's granddaughter. She is a niece. She is a sister in every essence always looking out for her little guy and making sure he knows she's the boss. She is a dancing queen/princess/gendered (against my will) girl. She loves make up and perfume and pink and purple. She also loves her rockstar haircut and her crafts and her endless flow of drawings and pictures that we can't keep a bulletin board big enough to showcase it. She hates reading but loves to be read to. She comes across as confident and strong but struggles with believing in her strength. She wants more of me than Henry will allow and I come up short every night at bedtime, stuck next to my little man with Quinn in the next room wishing there were 2 of me. We fight on our dates but still love to look forward to them. She is my match, my clone, my stubborn cheerleader. We love each other but at age 6 we aren't "in love" anymore and that's ok.
My kids are amazing. They have changed me in ways I can't write words about. They have pushed me, pulled me, needed me and forced me to drink on many occasions and they consume me. That being said, they also are forced to wait their turn when it's date night, work day, mom's night out which all happen very frequently and this has made them appreciate that I'm human and am more than just their mom. We are where we are now because of each other, we are very enamoured with this little unit we've created and as we approach the time to add another little monkey we are all excited to welcome them if we are as blessed with a fast conception like the other 2 it is imminent. Until then, I'm raising a glass of white to my kids, for where they are now - it's enough and for whatever lies ahead, we will see when we get there...
Henry/Hank/Hank the Tank/Hanky Panky/Little Man
Henry greets me each morning with a "what day is today?"always wanting to know what is ahead. He is snuggly and thoughtful and kind. He is my son. He is GB and Poppa's and Gramma's grandson. He is a nephew to a bunch of folks I really appreciate. He is a brother - learning to be kind and caring and equal. He is a Jedi warrior/Captain America/Hulk/Iron Man comic book hero. He is a lover and a fighter. He is cool and calm and intense and strong. He is a swingset/Netflix/Youtube addict. He LOVES rice milk almost as much as his mother. He is accosting me for the herb mister as we speak promising me he won't shoot it at me (lie). He is squishy and lovely and he is my whole heart and I am his. We are in love as he tells me daily.
Quinn/Quinny/Quinnbindersingh/Quinnella/Quinno/Honey Bear
Quinn can make a sandwich. She made me breakfast for my birthday. She makes me smile and yell daily. Quinn is endlessly kind. She is my daughter. She is GB and Poppa's and Gramma's granddaughter. She is a niece. She is a sister in every essence always looking out for her little guy and making sure he knows she's the boss. She is a dancing queen/princess/gendered (against my will) girl. She loves make up and perfume and pink and purple. She also loves her rockstar haircut and her crafts and her endless flow of drawings and pictures that we can't keep a bulletin board big enough to showcase it. She hates reading but loves to be read to. She comes across as confident and strong but struggles with believing in her strength. She wants more of me than Henry will allow and I come up short every night at bedtime, stuck next to my little man with Quinn in the next room wishing there were 2 of me. We fight on our dates but still love to look forward to them. She is my match, my clone, my stubborn cheerleader. We love each other but at age 6 we aren't "in love" anymore and that's ok.
My kids are amazing. They have changed me in ways I can't write words about. They have pushed me, pulled me, needed me and forced me to drink on many occasions and they consume me. That being said, they also are forced to wait their turn when it's date night, work day, mom's night out which all happen very frequently and this has made them appreciate that I'm human and am more than just their mom. We are where we are now because of each other, we are very enamoured with this little unit we've created and as we approach the time to add another little monkey we are all excited to welcome them if we are as blessed with a fast conception like the other 2 it is imminent. Until then, I'm raising a glass of white to my kids, for where they are now - it's enough and for whatever lies ahead, we will see when we get there...
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