pregnancy,...anniversary #7 thoughts

my pregnancy with quinn was lovely. there really is nothing like expecting your first child. it has its things about it that are special and unique. everyone lights up when you tell them it's your first and they are excited and those who have had children give you that look that i now give those who are expecting their first. i think in a few words the look is a fond "you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into". not in a menacing way but one that all parents share, it's wonderful to have kids but it's also the most complicated and difficult job you will never get trained for until your doing it. when i was pregnant with quinn i felt special. almost religiously special, like i was sacred, and she was sacred. i felt healthy and loved and warm and mostly like the universe had aligned for us for once. it was the same with henry, my pregnancy felt right. it was harder on my body because i hadn't shed most of my pregnancy weight i gained with quinn so my back hurt more and sleeping was more of a challenge. it was also made more complex by chasing a toddler throughout most of it. i felt healthy and special, but i felt more bonded to hen because i had a real concept of what was coming, a little human for us to help on their journey. and now quinn in here and she knows words like "ingredients" and "unbelievable" and henry is here and he knows how to grab stuff and smile at us and he fusses when he poops himself and these beings that chose us are here and i can't imagine ever not knowing them.

on this, the day that marks 7 years of our marriage i am eternally grateful for having met adam. for having him to hold me through all the shit that the last 7 (read: 14 years) has brought to us. the blessings that our 2 children have been and those that are still out there waiting to choose us seems exciting and like 7 years is a long time but our family is still growing and changing. what a ride. how time flies...